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 lil wayne is coming out with a rock album on april seventh, and quite frankly i can't wait! i heard the one leaked song, "Prom Queen", and i fell in love with his new style. carter IV is still going to be rap, of course, since most of that has been leaked. but here's a link to a site if you want to know more about the new rock album: http://www.mtv.co.uk/channel/mtvuk/news/471877-lil-wayne-confirms-rock-album-rebirth-prom-queen

yeeeeah, so that's pretty amazing. 
ugh. i'm not in the happiest mood right now. :/

all i do is get hurt, hurt people. why can't i be that innocent girl? the cute one? the one everyone says "oh, she's so nice!"? i guess i fucked up so damn much in the past that it's too late. i just want innocence. i look in the mirror and i feel like "WHORE." is written across my forehead, and like i have a big "DON'T TRUST HER!" sign on my back. i'm the most trustworthy person i know. i will never lie again. but hey. who gives a shit? no one believes someone who's lied so much about not lying. and i betcha a million fucken bucks that if any one of my friends reads this, they'll say to themselves, "she's just witing this so we'll read it." but whatever. i've honestly given up on them. all of them. yeah. if they wants to trust me, they will. if they don't, not my problem. there is nothing further i can do than what i am doing. i'm stressed as shit and depressed as anything. i feel like there's fucken weights on my heart and chains on my body. i'm chained to my own self because i'm obbsessing over gaining all that trust back, and i know i'm trustworthy. so you know what? i'm not going to try anymore. the only things i can do is not lie, not cheat, and be nice. but heyyy. even the truths that i tell people are lies to their ears. i'm done. yeah, i'm turning my back, shutting them out, putting my middle finger to the world and walking away. i need to get my grades up. but hey. i'm doig the best i can. 

so ya know what?

up goes the middle finger.


Current Location: right here.
Current Mood: the "s" word.
Current Music: la la lil wayne.
 so i'm leaving for philly today and my dad won't even let me take a shower?
i'm pissed to say the least.
update you later.
it's thanksgiving. and today is the day that i am officially vegetarian. i was going to pursue this idea before today but i realized the whole point of thanksgiving is the turkey... right? i've been vegetarian before for about three months then my mom put chicken in something and i gave up. :/ so my mom is bitching at me to clean my room. so i willlllll finish this later.
Snow: Meteorologya precipitation in the form of ice crystals, mainly of intricately branched, hexagonal form and often agglomerated into snowflakes, formed directly from the freezing of the water vapor in the air.

this little miracle of nature has nothing in it's definition about the strong emotion it causes. it can stir romance, sadness, elation, or even fear. all i know in my mind is that it exhilarates me.

i haven't been very happy lately, and it might be due to the fact that i'm a hormonal teenage girl. but if the doctor thought it was mere hormones a month and a half ago, would i have been rushed to get a therapiat as quickly as i was? i doubt it. fact of the matter is that i'm not happy, and there's no fucking medication that will change that. push anti-depressants on me, docors! i swear i will refuuse them. and no one but my body and mind set is responsible for my discontent. no one can really make someone completely happy. my boyfiend makes me so happy all the time! he makes me laugh, and smile, and forget about most of my problems! that doesn't mean my boyfriend has the power over me to make me have a happy outlook on the world and all the worthless shit it's trying to offer me. you only live once. and what, pray tell, is the point? you're born into this world, and automatically it's a popularity contest. your parents make it so that their friends will think you're the cutest baby out there! and then you hit elementary school. you don't really care at all. i mean, boys still have cooties, so you don't have that on your back. which, actually, changes a lot. human beings find the opposite sex a stresser. so abouttttt fifth grade rolls around. you get a little crush. you buy those super cool sketchers and that little pink top you're sure he'll notice you in! oh, correction your parents buy the stuff for you in fifth grade. that slipped my mind. so anyway... you show up to school hoping he'll say something. maybe he will, maybe he won't. oh, middle school. fuck! you think sixth grade is bad. seventh rolls around and you start getting boobs. (if your developmental stages are like mine, that statement is bogus. you had b's in fourth grade.) boys smack your ass and you start dating. (again! if you're like me, complete bogus. you had your first boyfriend in kinddergarten.) and dramadramadrama!! you gotta be friend with those eighth graders!! then all hell rises when you hit eighth grade. hormones are raging waters sloshing at the sides of jetis. you're growing up. you lose your virginity. you lose part of yourslef. then high school. you fall in love. you get good grades to make your parents happy, and if you're the dream child, you'll be happy about it too. then you graduate, and try to get into college. now, here's 3 paths. 
PATH ONE: you just drop out there. you get a low paying job, and get critisized, misjudged, and then POOF! you're DEAD. no one knows for sure where you go, and i'm not one to shove beliefs in your faces.
PATH TWO: you go to a two year college, get married, pop a few kids out if your vagina, and hopefully have a husband with a high paying job because that two year degree isn't going to get you far.
PATH THREE: you get that master's degree at that nice big university and you become a fucking popular ass millionaire. or something like that.
back on track. our society ranges from homeless people to celebrities with more money than they know what to do with. 
so where will you be in the end? with everyone else! dead! so why don't you tell me right fucking now. why is success in this life important?

completely different note....
when someone like me grew up around catty girls and overrated boys, you come outside feeling really attebtion starved. when someone tells you you're the most beautiful girl in the world (my hands are like icicles!) when you;ve grown up being called baby ugly... do you believe them? probably not. and when someone tells you you're perfect, you just can't accept it. if you looked in the mirror and saw a foul rotten creature, face distorted and different... you don't smile and say "how lovely!"

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: teeth the size of piano keys-chiodos.